1Tan Chong Yew, Steven
1 Consumer Marketing
1(chongyew.tan@gmail.com / steven_tan@oum.edu.my)
_________________________________
Abstract
Communicative mishap or miscommunication is about the misalignment of the state of mind that happened in the process of communication that involves 2 parties or more. It occurred when receivers of the message misconceived the meaning of message, and responded to it; subsequently, the communicator replies, and the cycle goes on until the miscommunication exacerbated leading to greater misalignment, and of course, personal conflict will thus arise…
Keywords: Miscommunication
_________________________________
I have encountered many ‘communicative mishaps’, and I realize that miscommunication is not something anomalous, it is not a terra incognita, it has always been there, and it can not be eliminated. In germane to my career advancement, it becomes crucial that I have to deal with it on day to day basis to warrant my career advancement opportunity.
Communicative mishap or miscommunication is about the misalignment of the state of mind that happened in the process of communication that involves 2 parties or more. It occurred when receivers of the message misconceived the meaning of message, and responded to it; subsequently, the communicator replies, and the cycle goes on until the miscommunication exacerbated leading to greater misalignment, and of course, personal conflict will thus arise…
1. Human, Communication and conflicts are meant together…
You just can’t live without it; places where ‘we’ exist, communication exists, and conflict stays. Communication is a process of transmitting our thought through our voice, words, and body language to get what we want in return. It is used day to day, and the more we do it, the higher the chance we mis-communicated and are misunderstood. Simply, we are human being, and are cognitively and emotionally driven. Cognitively driven is when we assume our past experience to a new circumstance that may not be applicable. Emotionally driven is when our rationality overshadowed by our emotion of the moment, it is as good if our emotion is positively reflected, but it can be catastrophic when negative emotion ruled. We are not god, we can promise to control our emotion and be neutral, but we can not be saint.
2. It is all about the fault of the style of ‘communication’…
Most of the conflicts arise are attributed to the communication break down; that is when intended message did not come through, and being understood wrongly. One of the reasons for the breakdown is imputed to the different style of communication. Each individual has a unique style of communication driven by the differences in personality and their past experiences (or upbringing). It is easy, of course, to send a single message to the ‘mass’, but it is difficult to have the ‘mass’ understand your very ‘one’ message because there’s no common denominator (or method) that can work on every person due to the varying degree of personal intelligent, skill of understanding, and contradictory personality, and so on…
Your style of communication may work on some people, and is greater effectiveness under those who has known you for years; they may have adapted to your style of communication. Also, your style of communication is related closely to your attitude, for instance, if you are impatient, you tend to speak faster, and has tendency to assume your audience understand your message. Of course, chance of miscommunication is much higher.
3. You’ve just got to find a way to deal with it…
Communication breakdown is inevitable; it can happen any time, and, as an effective executive, you need to find ways to minimize the frequency of communication breakdown; and also to minimize the effect of breakdown when it happened. For all, you have to believe this is part of your life…
4. Email does work sometimes…but not all the times…
Email is our day to day communication tools; it works if the intended message being understood correctly by the receivers, or vice versa. Email works best when the message is short and precise, and it can be less effective when it is used for lengthy explanation, because you could become less tactful as you write as you get impatient.
Meanwhile, It is advisable to always craft your email in the most simple form as possible, and be extreme tactful in what you mean because receiver of your emails may vary in their degree of understanding; In addition to that, you may also call the receivers as a follow up of your email.
5. When email does not work for you…you got to see them…
There are times when email does not work for you; when it creates miscommunication, you are advised to meet the receivers for a short discussion to illuminate on the issue. You should also call for a meeting to clarify your intention if the group of receivers is huge.
Although email is an important communication tools, but it should still be used with discretion. We tend to rely on emailing all the times, and leading to inferiority in our verbal communication skill, and human skill…
6. When you fear, you start to assume…
When miscommunication occurs, you start to panic, and you would assume responsibility by replying the email to explain your intention assuming that it would shed some light on the issue, but it does not work all the times. Often, you immediate reaction will only heighten the miscommunication. Perhaps, you should meet the receivers to decipher your exact intention in the email. Furthermore, Face to face communication works best as both parties are given an opportunity to read the expressive elements of communication such as, facial expression and body language which can help receivers to understand your message better.
7. Stop turning assumption into truth…you can’t believe assumption…
We can not make assumption in communication; we tend to assume people understand our message; we tend to assume our message is precise, and is easy to understand which by fact, it is not always true. It is worse when we start to believe in our assumption, then no action or initiative will be taken to further explain the message to reach a common understanding between the communicator and the receivers.
8. You just got to believe you will be misunderstood sometimes, or all the times…
The main principle in communication is to believe that you will be misunderstood. As such, you will spend additional effort to explain further your message to ensure all receivers understand your message clearly.
9. While listening, in your brain, keep asking ‘why’ …
Effective listening enhances effectiveness in communication; because when you listen and understand before you reply to a statement, your reply become precise. From a receiver’s perspective, it is important to always ask ‘what’ and ‘why’ after listening to a message, and stop the communicator whenever you have doubt, and clarify it on the spot before you speak of your thought. By doing so, it helps to understand the meaning of each statement of communication. It also stops you from interpreting the message before you fully understand it; as such you will not jump into understanding, and conclusion.
10. You have to be frank, be very, very frank…
Express the objective of the communication, and make sure a common understanding is reached between the communicator and receivers. Then, do not twist your communication too much just because you want to avoid offending somebody; and do not ‘detour’ your message when you can be direct. Since a common understanding is reached, all you need to do is be frank to the receivers of you message. Miscommunication occurs when you start to ‘run around the bush’!
11. Frank is not enough, you have to be sincere, be open-minded, and be receptive…be passionate…be patient…
Miscommunication can lead to personal vengeance if not resolve properly. When one starts to take it personally, the common reaction is to go for ‘a tooth for a tooth’ attack. Receiver start to be defensive and pinning the blame on the communicator. It becomes detrimental for the communicator to call for a meeting for clarification. The attitude of communicator also becomes a spotlight, being a communicator under such circumstance, will need to remain receptive and open minded, your good attitude will influence the fellow receivers to be receptive and open minded, and eventually, change their perception towards you – as the ancient adage saying, “the aura that isn’t matter what you absorb, the only matters for what you release…”
Steven Tan Chong Yew (012-3835128)
B.A (Hon) Bus. Admin (Marketing Mgt), Anglia Polytechnic University, UK
MBA (International Business), University of Southern Queensland, Australia
NOTE: The views expressed herein are solely writer’s personal opinion. Readers may email writers at chongyew.tan@gmail.com
I have encountered many ‘communicative mishaps’, and I realize that miscommunication is not something anomalous, it is not a terra incognita, it has always been there, and it can not be eliminated. In germane to my career advancement, it becomes crucial that I have to deal with it on day to day basis to warrant my career advancement opportunity.
Communicative mishap or miscommunication is about the misalignment of the state of mind that happened in the process of communication that involves 2 parties or more. It occurred when receivers of the message misconceived the meaning of message, and responded to it; subsequently, the communicator replies, and the cycle goes on until the miscommunication exacerbated leading to greater misalignment, and of course, personal conflict will thus arise…
1. Human, Communication and conflicts are meant together…
You just can’t live without it; places where ‘we’ exist, communication exists, and conflict stays. Communication is a process of transmitting our thought through our voice, words, and body language to get what we want in return. It is used day to day, and the more we do it, the higher the chance we mis-communicated and are misunderstood. Simply, we are human being, and are cognitively and emotionally driven. Cognitively driven is when we assume our past experience to a new circumstance that may not be applicable. Emotionally driven is when our rationality overshadowed by our emotion of the moment, it is as good if our emotion is positively reflected, but it can be catastrophic when negative emotion ruled. We are not god, we can promise to control our emotion and be neutral, but we can not be saint.
2. It is all about the fault of the style of ‘communication’…
Most of the conflicts arise are attributed to the communication break down; that is when intended message did not come through, and being understood wrongly. One of the reasons for the breakdown is imputed to the different style of communication. Each individual has a unique style of communication driven by the differences in personality and their past experiences (or upbringing). It is easy, of course, to send a single message to the ‘mass’, but it is difficult to have the ‘mass’ understand your very ‘one’ message because there’s no common denominator (or method) that can work on every person due to the varying degree of personal intelligent, skill of understanding, and contradictory personality, and so on…
Your style of communication may work on some people, and is greater effectiveness under those who has known you for years; they may have adapted to your style of communication. Also, your style of communication is related closely to your attitude, for instance, if you are impatient, you tend to speak faster, and has tendency to assume your audience understand your message. Of course, chance of miscommunication is much higher.
3. You’ve just got to find a way to deal with it…
Communication breakdown is inevitable; it can happen any time, and, as an effective executive, you need to find ways to minimize the frequency of communication breakdown; and also to minimize the effect of breakdown when it happened. For all, you have to believe this is part of your life…
4. Email does work sometimes…but not all the times…
Email is our day to day communication tools; it works if the intended message being understood correctly by the receivers, or vice versa. Email works best when the message is short and precise, and it can be less effective when it is used for lengthy explanation, because you could become less tactful as you write as you get impatient.
Meanwhile, It is advisable to always craft your email in the most simple form as possible, and be extreme tactful in what you mean because receiver of your emails may vary in their degree of understanding; In addition to that, you may also call the receivers as a follow up of your email.
5. When email does not work for you…you got to see them…
There are times when email does not work for you; when it creates miscommunication, you are advised to meet the receivers for a short discussion to illuminate on the issue. You should also call for a meeting to clarify your intention if the group of receivers is huge.
Although email is an important communication tools, but it should still be used with discretion. We tend to rely on emailing all the times, and leading to inferiority in our verbal communication skill, and human skill…
6. When you fear, you start to assume…
When miscommunication occurs, you start to panic, and you would assume responsibility by replying the email to explain your intention assuming that it would shed some light on the issue, but it does not work all the times. Often, you immediate reaction will only heighten the miscommunication. Perhaps, you should meet the receivers to decipher your exact intention in the email. Furthermore, Face to face communication works best as both parties are given an opportunity to read the expressive elements of communication such as, facial expression and body language which can help receivers to understand your message better.
7. Stop turning assumption into truth…you can’t believe assumption…
We can not make assumption in communication; we tend to assume people understand our message; we tend to assume our message is precise, and is easy to understand which by fact, it is not always true. It is worse when we start to believe in our assumption, then no action or initiative will be taken to further explain the message to reach a common understanding between the communicator and the receivers.
8. You just got to believe you will be misunderstood sometimes, or all the times…
The main principle in communication is to believe that you will be misunderstood. As such, you will spend additional effort to explain further your message to ensure all receivers understand your message clearly.
9. While listening, in your brain, keep asking ‘why’ …
Effective listening enhances effectiveness in communication; because when you listen and understand before you reply to a statement, your reply become precise. From a receiver’s perspective, it is important to always ask ‘what’ and ‘why’ after listening to a message, and stop the communicator whenever you have doubt, and clarify it on the spot before you speak of your thought. By doing so, it helps to understand the meaning of each statement of communication. It also stops you from interpreting the message before you fully understand it; as such you will not jump into understanding, and conclusion.
10. You have to be frank, be very, very frank…
Express the objective of the communication, and make sure a common understanding is reached between the communicator and receivers. Then, do not twist your communication too much just because you want to avoid offending somebody; and do not ‘detour’ your message when you can be direct. Since a common understanding is reached, all you need to do is be frank to the receivers of you message. Miscommunication occurs when you start to ‘run around the bush’!
11. Frank is not enough, you have to be sincere, be open-minded, and be receptive…be passionate…be patient…
Miscommunication can lead to personal vengeance if not resolve properly. When one starts to take it personally, the common reaction is to go for ‘a tooth for a tooth’ attack. Receiver start to be defensive and pinning the blame on the communicator. It becomes detrimental for the communicator to call for a meeting for clarification. The attitude of communicator also becomes a spotlight, being a communicator under such circumstance, will need to remain receptive and open minded, your good attitude will influence the fellow receivers to be receptive and open minded, and eventually, change their perception towards you – as the ancient adage saying, “the aura that isn’t matter what you absorb, the only matters for what you release…”
**********END************
Steven Tan Chong Yew (012-3835128)
B.A (Hon) Bus. Admin (Marketing Mgt), Anglia Polytechnic University, UK
MBA (International Business), University of Southern Queensland, Australia
NOTE: The views expressed herein are solely writer’s personal opinion. Readers may email writers at chongyew.tan@gmail.com
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